To Sadie

April 16, 2006
7 pounds even
19 1/2 inches long

I remember watching the sun come up from our bedroom at home, thinking about the Savior's resurrection on that Easter morning so long ago, and the sacrifice he made of blood, water and pain to pay for me, and the mistakes I have and will make while on earth, that I may return home. Being in labor and buying Sadie with my body's blood, water and pain is the closest similitude of the Savior's sacrifice I know I will ever experience. It was an honor to do that for her, and what a blessing she has been for us these past two years.

Right now it is nearly three o'clock mountain time, and two years ago at this moment we were in Colorado at Poudre Valley Hospital. Sarah still hadn't made her debut, and wouldn't for another 3 hours. It was Easter Sunday then, and Joe and I had checked into the hospital at 7am after a long (and rather hilarious--remember Nikki?) night of counting contractions. Eager to meet our first-born, hand-in-hand Joe and I walked across the parking lot, stopping now and again while I crumpled in pain; my body working to bring hers here.

Then the earth circled the sun...

That first year brought so much into the newness of life we had found as inexperienced parents, and the raw vulnerability that accompanies such love for your own creation. Bringing her home, with long days of learning about one another, and longer nights getting her used to life on earth. There was Sadie's blessing in her simple white dress, and those family and friends who came to celebrate just her. Then the first summer when mommy and Sadie jogged everyday with Loki, and Daddy took her around in the snugglie. Sadie's first Christmas at eight-months-old, when she received a turtle that contains a water scene which hangs from her crib and to this day still lulls her to sleep. We moved out East trying to find our niche in this world and a place where we could make a difference for ourselves, and our daughter, all the while knowing but not realizing how quickly time passes until it is gone. Suddenly one year old.



Then the earth circled the sun...

One year more has slipped by. Sadie learned to walk in an odd marching fashion fists high in the air at first, and now she shouts, "So fast!" as she races from one end of the house to the other. She broke her first tooth, and now has them all. She spoke her first word, and since loves to jabber about nothing and everything at the same time. She dances to music, and has memorized the words to her favorite books. When we rock in the quiet of a darkened room before I lay her down to sleep, she reaches up and places her palm on my cheek and strokes my face with her thumb in the same fashion I do to her. Sadie became a big sister, and put to rest my concerns for her as the world she knew was no longer ruled by her alone. "I am so silly" is our new favorite Sadie-ism. She threw tantrums, and cries with remorse and anger when time-outs are enforced in true two-year-old fashion.

I am so proud as a mommy, and awed as an observer to my daughter-charged with the stead of her care and teaching. Born on Easter, Sadie has recently begun to fold her arms and offer a prayer in the name of her Savior. That act has brought more joy and warm tears to my face than nearly any other milestone she has met.

As the earth will circle the sun once more, I feel myself getting nostalgic for now, not willing to let those small moments pass so easily without a prayer of gratitude of my own for her.

Happy birthday my darling.